The Balance of Life
I often hear conversations and revelations about mothers feeling washed with guilt because of the “me” time they steal away for themselves. In a sense, it seems, that often motherhood is the card that revokes a woman’s privilege of having human desires and exchanged for Coco Melon and carpools. We mothers have the innate thought that anything, or at least most things that aren’t kid centered means that some form of nurturing is being taken away from them and causing them deprivation of life’s joys and all things that prepares them for life. Sounds like a load doesn’t it?
Lose the Guilt
By experience, the word “balance” exists for a reason. It lives for the fulfilment of our existence. Single motherhood was not how I began the motherhood journey, but after the lifestyle change that results from separation and divorce comes a new reality. While I am grateful for a good coparent and family support system, I had to adopt balance into my life. While it wasn’t a great challenge for me, I had to learn to lose the “guilt” of being a woman while being a mother. It is very much possible and absolutely okay.
Self Care
It is imperative that mothers practice self-care because no one can pour from an empty, drained, exhausted cup. We have to replenish and feed ourselves in order to be able to properly and wholeheartedly give our children the love, affection, and attention that they deserve.
Balancing Act
Let’s go back to the balancing act. What works for me may not be the golden rule for everyone, but I know that sharing is golden too! I learned to abandon remorse for treating myself. If I treat myself or indulge with my favorite foods, activities, or shoes, I am sure to find a trinket for my daughter to enjoy. In any event that I have to work all day with tasks from my 9-5, business, or writing, I am sure to take a break to allow the little lady her time with me. That may be a stroll or a quick, fun activity of her interest to show her that though I am working, she is an important piece of my time.
It's Ok
Because we cannot have adult conversations with our children, I allow social and kid free time, reminiscent to the days when it was just me that I had to worry about. I follow up with a trip or outing that allows her to explore as well. The same practice goes for trips and personal hobbies, anything that I do for myself, I am sure to provide for my child. I make time for it all to fit. It removes the feeling and reality that her needs are not being met because there is a healthy balance of space for me to feel like an adult while being the best mother possible. As long the child needs are being met with time, attention, and love, Mom, it’s okay to buy those shoes or take that class.